The Weight of Things
by jacobn
Summary: Total fluff with Red and Lizzie. Lizzie is always smart, strong and one step ahead... but this story tells of a time when she wasn't.
1. Chapter 1

**This is super short - for two reasons: I have no idea where to go with this and I've had this little bit of a story floating in my head and on my computer for the last few months. I figured I should just post the darn thing now. If you guys want me to continue this I will... if it doesn't get feedback, I'll just keep it short and sweet. :) **

**Thanks for reading!**

Elizabeth was a lot of things.

Strong.

Fierce.

Determined.

Stubborn.

But somehow she failed to understand how she ended up here. She was on a case. At least, that's what she remembered last.

She recalled fragments and flashes of thing that happened, but they were so absurd she could believe them.

Yet, here she was laying in what appeared to be a hospital bed.

"Elizabeth? Stay with us." She rolled her head to the side in the direction of the voice. The world around her came to life. People scurrying about, yelling and talking quickly, handing each other indistinguishable items that she couldn't make out.

She tried to focus on the person standing over her. Their hands floated over her body, but they moved to fast for her to focus on them.

She opened her mouth to say something. She wasn't sure what, but it didn't matter because nothing came out of her mouth.

Elizabeth wanted to get out of there and she wanted to talk to Red. He'd have the answers to all her questions. Her vision blurred and then see saw black.

It felt like she had been hit by a bus. Her whole body, every tiny ounce of her body, ached in a painful slumber. She slowly rolled on to her side, which was painful, but was more comfortable than laying on her back. She recognized that she was in the hospital and she could remember clearly now why she was here.

She could hear the door open and close behind her. She was too exhausted to roll over to greet the doctor or nurse. They were probably coming for more tests.

"Lizzie?" His voice filled the room.

A sob escaped her mouth before she could stop it. He was here. The comfort she felt from him just being in the same room was too much.

She closed her eyes tightly, hoping to keep the tears away.

She didn't want him to see her like this. Not broken. She needed him to always know her as a strong, independent person. Not a puddle of bandages and tubes.

He slowly came around to the other side of her bed so he can see her face. Raymond Reddington has seen a lot of things in his life. The most gruesome damage all the way to death. But he never thought he'd see his Lizzie covered in bruises and cuts from an attack.

"They said you were asking for me..." He said disbelievingly.

"I didn't think you'd actually come." She said weakly.

He stood in front of her and took in her appearance. His heart was breaking and he was unsure how to fix her.

Lizzie was completely mortified. He wasn't saying anything - she knew he was disappointed. She tried to sit up, honking maybe she could explain to him what happened. But that developed a shooting pain in her arm, she let out a cry before she fell back down to the bed.

"Lizzie," Red reached out to try to grab her. He wanted to hold her in his arms and take away this pain. "Who did this to you?"

"I... I'm not sure," she whispered settling back into the bed.

"Elizabeth," he growled.

"I don't know." She began to cry.

"Where are your papers?"

"My what?" Lizzie tried to get up again.

"Your medical papers." Red grabbed a clipboard that was hanging off the foot of her bed.

Lizzie could tell he was fuming. He flipped through the pages angrily and then dropped the clipboard with a loud bang on the small table.

"Red?" Lizzie tried to call to him, but it was hushed and whispered.

"Dembe will collect you when you are released tonight."

And then he was gone. Lizzie called after him, trying to catch a glimpse of him walking down the hallway away from her.


	2. Chapter 2

**um... to be honest, i didn't expect everyone to want this to continue, so i really have absolutely no plot. but i will try to continue this... hopefully finish it (unlike some of my other fanfics). i'm soliciting ideas for this story line - haha. **

**-NJ**

Liz opened her eyes slowly, afraid of her surroundings and her memory.

She vaguely remembered seeing Red in the hospital. It was so distant, she had to question whether it happened or she imagined it happened. After all, her memory hasn't been the most reliable source for her.

She didn't recognize the room. The birds outside the window singing joyfully, the sheets that felt like satin against her skin, and the throbbing feeling in her head told her that she was on foreign grounds.

But the shirt she was wearing. That was similar. It smelled like him.

She groaned as she struggled to sit up, hearing faint sounds coming from another room farther down the hall. Liz looked around for any sign of the time or for some indication that he was somewhere.

"Red?" She tried to yell, but it came out as a whisper. She reached up and touched her throat gingerly, moving her hand up to her face, feeling for any damage or abnormalities. When she was satisfied that her face felt okay, she slowly made her way out of the bed.

The moment her feet touched the floor she was suddenly aware of the warm fuzzy socks and her bare legs. As she walked through the bedroom, she realized the extent of her injuries from the pain alone. Not only was her head throbbing with each heart beat, there was a faint pain in her lower abdomen, her left leg naturally moved with a limp, and the bandage wrapped around her arm wasn't unnoticed.

Reaching the doorframe, she called out to Red again, hoping this time her voice would travel. But still, nothing more than a whisper.

"Agent Keen?" Dembe came from around the corner. "What are you doing up?"

"I was," she tried to clear her throat, hoping it would come out louder, "looking for Red."

"Mr. Reddington hasn't returned yet." Dembe moved closer to her and reached out. "Let's get back to bed and when he returns, I will let him know you are awake."

"Thanks Dembe." Liz gave up fighting him. It was no use. He was just a difficult as Red sometimes.

Once she was settled back in, what she presumed was Red's bed, she got comfortable for a long wait.

"Do you need more pain meds? Are you in pain?" Dembe asked concerned. "Ray left everything here and told me to give you whatever you needed."

"Red was here?" She moved to sit up, although strained with the movements she succeeded in propping herself up against the headboard.

"How do you think you ended up in bed in the first place? In his clothes? I certainly would never do that. With all do respect, you still belong in a hospital."

"He removed me from the hospital early?" She spoke out loud to herself. She vaguely remembered anything of the last few days. She was working a case, the location was still lost, then there was an explosion of some sort and then she wakes up in a hospital and he's there. Now she's in his bedroom, wearing his clothes in his bed. "When…"

"I don't know. He gave me direct orders to protect you and watch you until he returns. He said you might be out for a few days. He was hoping he'd be back before you woke up."

"How long have I been out for?" She wondered out loud.

"Almost four days since the hospital. You were in the hospital for almost a week. You woke up after the third day asking for Ray. You were still pretty much out of it at that point; you refused to see anyone until you got to see him. I think your partner, Donald, made the call to Ray. We came back as soon as we could to get to you. By the time we showed up, you had been in there for six days. Ray refused to have you in there for another night, he made the arrangements and I brought you home that night. Ray stopped by briefly to help you settle into bed but then he took off to take care of business."

"What business? What exactly happened to me? Do you know where my phone is?"

"I am not sure what happened." Dembe stood to retrieve her phone. "All I know is that he'll be back soon, he always is."

"Thank you Dembe." She smiled warmly at him.

"Do you need anything for the pain?" He asked still standing next to her bed.

"Not yet. It'll probably knock me out again. I want to stay awake for a while."

"You should call him." Dembe turned to leave the room. "He would love to hear your voice."

"Yeah," she smiled again, "I'll give him a call."

She was running, but she felt like she was running in slow motion. She couldn't get away and she couldn't find a safe place to hide. She could hear his footsteps behind her. She heard the gun go off, but she kept running; faster and faster, she tried to move as quickly as she could. Another gunshot. She ducked out of fear and habit. Another gunshot. And then she was on the ground; shocked and confused she pushed herself back up and tried to run again only to fall on her face. She began crawling, frantically pulling herself forward. The tears were falling freely, blurring her vision and making it hard to think straight. He was towering over her body now, snickering and pointing the gun to her face.

"Gunshot to the thigh will drop 'em every single time." He laughed loudly. He aimed the gun at her forehead and pulled the trigger.

"NO!" Liz sat up in bed. She was breathing heavily and sweating through his shirt. Shivers ran through her body when she realized she was having a nightmare. She reached over to grab her phone off the bedside table to check the time. It was very late, past midnight.

She took a couple of deep breaths to try and steady her rapidly beating heart. Just when she was almost back to a relaxed state, she heard voices coming from somewhere in the house. The bedroom door was left open, and it was still dark in the hallway. She got up and slowly made her way to the door. The voices were silent again. Was it her imagination? It was possible that she still had some medicine in her system, maybe that was making her crazy. She turned to make her way back to the bed when the hallway light lit up the floor where she was walking. She was trying to convince herself that these hallucinations and dreams were all side effects of the drugs.

"Dembe?" She called out.

"Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" Raymond Reddington stood in the doorway of his room. Liz didn't miss a second before she hurried across the short distance to him and threw herself into his arms.


	3. Chapter 3

**I feel like this is a short chapter - but it's building. Still not sure where to really take this, so bear with me while I try to figure it out. Thank you to those that messaged me and are reading this. 3**

She held on to him tighter than she thought was possible, her own strength in her current state surprised her. For a few moments she let herself believe that it was just Red – just the two of them and no one else and nothing else. She let herself forget that he left her in the hospital when she wanted him, she let herself forget that he had been gone for the last few days, she let herself forget that she was an FBI agent seeking comfort in the arms of a wanted criminal.

"Lizzie, sweetheart," he tried to pry her off of him.

"No." She whispered and gripped tighter. She knew she was acting childish and needy at the moment, but she didn't care. If her memories and her nightmares were true… she knew he was the only one she could trust. Despite her better judgment.

"It's late. We have tomorrow. I just wanted to check on you, it sounded like you were dreaming."

"Can I ask you a favor?" Her voice muffled from speaking into his neck. He tightened his hug for a moment, rubbing his hand up and down her back. Without waiting for his reply, she continued. "Please stay."

"I don't plan on leaving any time soon."

"I mean, here." She pulled back to look at his face. "Stay with me, here, tonight."

"I'm afraid that's not possible dear, I have some business to attend to before I turn in for the night." He was being short with her. He knew that she wouldn't understand, yet. As enticing as it sounded, spending the evening with her curled up at his side, he knew time was of the essence.

"But you'll still be here?" She stepped back, prepared for him to leave again. He noticed her eyes glaze over with tears, but she held herself together.

"I'll be right next door in the office." He reached out for her, touching her arm briefly as she turned away towards the bed. "Dembe will be in the room across the hall.

She nodded her head and climbed slowly back into bed, moving gingerly with her injured leg. He gently closed the door behind him, leaving it cracked open just an inch in case she called out for him. Liz laid in bed, confused and heartbroken. She hoped to keep the tears from falling, but before she could stop them, the dam had been broken. She debated getting up to go find him, but she knew being rejected twice by him in one evening would be too much for her to bear. She let herself cry until the exhaustion and medication took over.

Red poured himself a glass of scotch in the library, which was just next door to his bedroom where Liz laid. He looked up at the wall that separated him from her and sighed before taking a long drink. Sitting himself down on the couch, he allowed himself to relax.

"That wasn't very nice." Dembe appeared in the doorway.

"She's a fighter." Red responded without looking up from the stack of papers on the table in front of him.

"May I speak freely?" Dembe stood at the other end of the table.

"Always," Red looked up. "Have a seat."

"Agent Keen has gone through a terrible ordeal."

"Agreed."

"Since I've brought her here, she has asked for you, called out to you in her sleep, cried for you and has had a unspeakable amount of nightmares. Would it kill you to just once act on your own feelings rather than treat this as a business deal?"

"Lizzie was never a business deal. I care a great deal for the woman in the next room. However," Red took a long drink to empty his glass. "She is in this condition because of me."

"You blame yourself?" Dembe questioned retrieving the bottle of scotch.

"I vowed to keep her safe and out of harm. That was my promise. I turn my back and leave the country for a few days and that son of a bitch attacks."

"Agent Keen is an adult, she doesn't need a babysitter. You could not have prevented this by being present."

"Dembe, she was shot in the back of the leg. She was clearly running away from him. Lizzie never backs down from a fight unless it's really bad. She was beaten, shot, and left for death. Where was I? Off doing a deal in the streets of Florence."

"But she is alive."

"She is." Red glanced over at the wall again, as if he could see through it.

"The woman you love is in pain and scared and you sit here drinking a scotch. I will never understand you, sir."

"That's just it, Dembe. If she's close to me, then she will get hurt or killed. If I keep my distance, everyone stays alive."

"Ahh, yes." Dembe smiled, he stood and headed towards the door. He stopped and looked back at a confused Red. "But what good is love if you're dead on the inside?"

Red didn't respond. He continued to stare at Dembe standing in the doorway.

"You'll let me know if you need anything. I'll check on Agent Keen before I turn in for the evening."

"Don't bother. I'll check on her when I am finished here."

"Goodnight, Mr. Reddington." Dembe closed the door behind him. Red sat in silence for a moment longer before he quickly swallowed the remaining scotch that Dembe had poured for him. He stood to turn off the lamp and made his way over to the door.

Quietly he undressed and found a pair of pajama pants and a shirt from the dresser. He prepared for bed and couldn't help but imagine if this was what domesticated life with Liz would feel like. He smiled at the thought of spending the rest of his life with Liz.

He tried to not concern himself with their current situation as he climbed into bed. Liz laid unconscious to the world around her, in a deep medicated slumber. Red wiped the tears from her cheeks that hadn't dried yet, kissed her forehead and settled into his bed. Before he closed his eyes, he reached out and grabbed her hand and interlaced his fingers with hers.


	4. Chapter 4

Liz rolled over to block the sunlight from her face. The pain she felt shooting through her body reminded her of her current situation. Liz slowly pushed herself up to a sitting position. She rubbed her eyes to clear her vision and her head. After much debate, she forced her body to get up and put on her own clothes.

She had packed her belongings into her handbag quick and made her way downstairs. She found her shoes sitting by the door, like she knew they would be. Without a second thought, she walked out the door.

Liz was usually a woman of plans. But as she slowly walked down the sidewalk, she found herself without a plan or destination. She couldn't even figure out what city she was in. Liz decided the best option would be to check into the nearest hotel until she got get a grip on her injuries and location.

000

Red knocked lightly on his bedroom door and then entered upon hearing nothing. He assumed Liz would sleep in late, but it was well passed 11 am. It seemed highly unlikely that the drugs still had her asleep. In all the time Red has known her, Liz was such a morning person.

"Lizzie?" He looked in the small adjoining bathroom. When he came up empty handed, he went to find Dembe.

"Sir?" Dembe questioned when he saw the look on Red's face.

"Lizzie…" He pointed behind him. "Where- she's not in her room."

Dembe looked at him questionably. "I haven't seen her. I assumed she was with you."

"She's gone." Red moved out of the room quickly, Dembe on his heels.

"She couldn't have gone far." Dembe grabbed his keys and his jacket. "Try her cell."

"I am… she's not picking up."

"Can we trace it?" Dembe started the car before he had even closed it. "Is she in any kind of immediate threat?"

"Tom found her once. It's not like we're dealing with the damn boy scouts."

"The closest hotel is just a few blocks away. The bus station is about 4 miles. She's probably at the hotel bidding her time." Dembe suggested.

"Let's go there first then." Red sighed. This was beyond stressful for him. He was usually very collected and calm. But since he heard about Tom attacking Liz, he'd been a wreck. Completely distracted by everything around him, he couldn't even focus on small business deals and minor hiccups in his plans. Not to mention the guilt he felt for leaving Liz alone in the first place.

It had been a handful of years since she left Tom. Her marriage was in shambles, but her career took off to an even greater level of success because of the information Red spoon-fed to her. When a very close and dear friend in Ireland needed Red, he left Liz behind with the promise of returning "soon." He had been gone a few weeks, barely enough time for either of them to miss each other, when the enemy struck.

Their relationship was complicated. No one knew better than Liz and Red just how complicated it could have gotten. Liz finally came to her senses and admitted to her feelings for him. She had dropped hints repeatedly to Red, hoping that he would catch on. Red noticed, but tried to keep it professional. He was in love with Liz. But he knew that this job meant the world to her and she wasn't quite ready for another relationship yet. He was there for her in his own way, trying to show her that he cared without giving her too much.

Red tapped his fingers on the door handle while he waited for Dembe to return. He tried her cell one more time. But got nothing.

"She's on the fifth floor," Dembe slid into his seat. "There is a lot around back, we can enter through the side door."

"What room?"

"513." Dembe parked by the door. "You need my assistance?"

"She seems kind fond of you these days. You may as well join me." Red stepped out of the vehicle and headed towards the hotel.

"Try to be nice to her." Dembe offered.

"I am the nicest man in her life right now." Red suggested. "Do you have the key?"

"I have the housekeeping key." Dembe flashed.

They walked in silence until they found her room. Red gestured to Dembe to slide the key and open the door. They walked in effortlessly as if they belonged in the room.

"Oh Jesus." Liz muttered loudly when she saw the two men enter the room. "What-" she stumbled closer to them.

"Elizabeth, pack your bag. We're going home."

"Like hell we are." She got up and stood in front of him, her drink sloshing around in the plastic cup.

"Are you drunk?"

"What's it to you? You don't seem to care about me at all."

"Lizzie, that's not true."

"I'm not going anywhere with you." She pointed her finger hard into his chest. He quickly grabbed her wrist tightly and removed her drink with his other hand.

"Stop acting like a child." He said through gritted teeth.

And that's how her dam broke. She couldn't hold it in any longer. Between her pain medication and the alcohol, she finally let her emotions take over. "You're hurting me." She slumped down, he wrist still in Red's tight grip.

"Lizzie," He sighed and kneeled down in front of her. "Look at me."

"No." She spat back angrily at him. Her breathing was erratic and her sobbing just continued to grow harder and louder.

Red stood and walked to Dembe. They spoke in quiet and hushed tones before Dembe nodded and left the hotel room. Red took off his jacket, lightly kicked off his shoes and began to un button his dress shirt. Liz was completely oblivious to what he was doing, she was curled up against the end of the bed crying.

"Come here," he started to pull her up.

"Red, I can't…" She pushed at his hands.

"Stop fighting me." He attempted to reach out to her again. This time she didn't push him away.

He pulled her up to a standing position, unzipped her hoodie and gently removed it. He pushed her down onto the bed and began to remove her shoes.

"What are you doing?" She said finally catching her breath.

"We're going to take a nap."

"But I'm not tired." She countered as he pulled back the covers and ushered her in between the sheets.

"Please, Lizzie?" He was begging her. Trying to get her under control and the situation back into his favor.

She watched him for a moment before slowly climbing into the bed. She watched him as she got settled. He walked over to the window to close the blinds and then walked over to where the bathroom was by the entrance of the hotel room.

"Red?" She called out as she sat up quickly.

"Yes dear?" He came out of the restroom at looked at her.

"Are you leaving me?" She questioned him, preparing herself for the rejection.

"Lay back down, I'll be over in a moment." He disappeared into the bathroom again.

Liz lay down and tried to keep her eyes wide open until her returned. She felt herself slowly starting to spiral into a heavy daze, her eyelids growing heavy with each passing minute.

When the bed dipped and felt the blankets rustle, she opened her eyes in a panic.

"Shhh. It's me." He whispered when he noticed her alarm.

"Red." She moved closer to his body and laid her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry." She mumbled.

"Sleep now, sweetheart. We'll talk when you wake up. Lord knows I have a lot to apologize for."

And with that she closed her eyes and passed out quickly. Red was awake for a while longer before he fully fell asleep holding Lizzie close to his chest.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys... so this took a while. I apologize. I wanted to get it done before the end of June. Last month I was just insanely busy with work and life. Every time I tried to sit down to work on this, I couldn't make it happen. This chapter was more forced, which I also apologize for, and sadly the last. It's the last because it was so hard to finish and I don't think I can squeeze any more into this without it sounding like more crap. haha. **

**Thank you for reading! :) **

Liz was dreading that afternoon for more reasons than one. Having a conversation with Red was never easy – especially with difficult talks, the ones she didn't want to have but he always had a way of pulling even the deepest truths out of her. She'd crack under his pressure.

What made Liz nervous what that she couldn't exactly figure out what he already did know. She was embarrassed. She was still afraid.

She wondered if she'd be able to escape from the hotel room before he even woke, but his arm anchored her to the bed. Liz shifted lazily to the edge of the bed, effectively sliding out from under him. As soon as she stood from the bed, she was hit with a pounding headache and a wave of nausea. Easing herself back to sit on the bed, she reached for the glass of water on the table next to the bed.

"Good morning." Red's voice was filled with sleep and stress.

"Hi." She spoke quickly between sips.

"How are you feeling?"

"Not too good." She turned to face him. "I want to go home, but…"

"But?" He prompted.

Liz was silent. She had some memories, and what she did have memories of, she preferred to never speak of them.

"Lizzie," Red sat up and started to address her. She watched him for a few moments while he gathered his clothes. He stopped for a brief moment when he slid his pants on. "I know."

"How much?" She turned away, facing the door. Calculating the distance. Wondering if she could make it across that short distance before he was dressed enough to chase after her. Then briefly wondering if Dembe was sitting just outside the door waiting for her to pull a stunt like this.

"Enough." He said casually, making her wonder just how much 'enough' meant. Enough to disappear for weeks to kill the men involved? Enough to abandon her for weeks without explanation? Enough to still be here after everything she's recently tried to do?

"Oh."

The room fell silent. She could feel the burn of his eyes in the back of her head as her breathing became sporadic.

"Talk to me." He whispered, suddenly next to her. His voice made her jump, frightened and suddenly she was crying. Liz wasn't aware of the tears building and falling from her eyes.

"Red," She closed her eyes as a sob ripped its way out of her chest. She reached for him, grabbing onto his arm awkwardly.

"Calm yourself, Lizzie." His arm reached around her waist and pulled her closer to him. He brushed stray hairs and tucked them behind her ear as he spoke softly to her. "It's just you and I, sweetheart. You are safe here."

She nodded against his neck. "Um," she started to speak and sat up straight, distancing herself from him a little. "Tom had gotten home before I did the other day," she cleared her throat. "And we started to fight, disagree about dinner or something, it was really stupid. I threatened to leave him. Not because of dinner, but other things and then I went upstairs to change. I was up in our room for a while. I had lay down on the bed and checked the emails on my phone, and then I heard voices downstairs. Tom was talking to what sounded like two other guys. I sat up when I heard they were coming upstairs. Tom came in first… he hit me. And he kept hitting me harder and harder," Lizzie covered her mouth as her crying became stronger. "I was on the ground and they were all kicking and punching me-"

"Stop." Red had heard enough. He had seen enough of the damage and knew from her chart that multiple men had raped her and she had entered the hospital with extensive injuries.

"They…"

"Elizabeth, I told you to stop." Red said more forcefully. This caused her to look up at him.

They stared at each other for moments. He cupped her cheek with his hand before slowly pulling her to him. She crawled on top of his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and crying even harder. He held her close.

"I disappeared to take care of them." He rubbed his hand up and down her back. "You don't need to be afraid of them anymore. I'm sorry if I was distant with you when I came back. I was afraid of hurting you. I didn't realize you'd need me like this."

She didn't respond, just held on tighter.

"You are safe with me." He pulled her back and wiped her eyes. "Always."

She nodded her head and smiled at him.


End file.
